Most kids my age float and flutter on clouds in their homes
Lit with the sunny glow of cell phones. They talk to their friends without thought of the end. They box and brawl over the latest shawl at the local mall. They fly in the sky with dreams in their eyes. Easy, simple and filled with pride.
So tell me why I Wear clothes I don’t like and a smile that doesn’t suit me? Living in a world of violence and crudity I want no regrets Instead it’s constant judgement day And life’s a constant threat Why do I Say goodbye Proceed to cry Leaving a slippery trail of tears Desperately try To mop up the soaking wet Years of fears Why can't I just disappear? Instead? Overthinking every word I said Only to dread The peaceful bliss of sleep? Why do I Spend longer than I should Looking at my mirror Just to see clearer That I am inferior. She does that better He said it first I can’t do that I never will
Most kids my age run to the school yard at 8am To tell their friends The latest trends They sit perfectly poised with their practised posture. They Bat their eyelashes and swipe their hair back with a sparkly hair tie They look me up and down and swat me like a fly.
Why do you not like me? Like us? Is it because we have hair on our faces or places society said was gross Or the fact that we don’t fit in the box of impossible beauty standards you put us in. It is because I look too happy to be cool Or to be popular you have to be cruel Is it because I’m too weird for you and make friends with the unlikely Or the fact I just wanted to talk to people who are like me Is it because my hair frizzes up in a tangled mess Or how I walk with a song in my step Is it that I have to be “different” and “unique” to fit in When we all know that the “different” you always talk about is the same as everyone else.
I’m drowning in a sea alone I see a boat The people look me up and down And say you’re fine kid You’re afloat I’m drowning in your words In your judgmental stares The way you look so effortless The way you flip your hair The way you’re so much better The way you tell me lies The way I feel disgusting And the way you make me cry
They say “just be yourself” but what if I don’t know who that is anymore.
Most kids my age frolic in fragrant fields of forget me nots Why am I simply forgotten? Most kids my age charm and cheat their way to checkmate Why Am I simply a pawn?
They say your being dramatic But I mean it’s not like
My dreams Buried underneath My crooked teeth
My beliefs Buried underneath My gruesome grief
My feet Dancing to the beat Buried underneath Layers of concrete Trying to retreat And stuck in the backseat When I just want to drive
My history Buried underneath Cheap critique And disbelief And feeling incomplete
I disagree Buried underneath My need to please
I need to breathe In and out Up and down And think this through Now I ask you. Breathe. In and out Up and down And think this through.
Most kids my age are monsters under my bed Imaginary creatures Saying the words in my head Most kids my age are a needle and thread Stitching the narrative i've already read Most kids my age say words I’ve already said You thought you killed me But I just bled I made the wound You made it bleed My life consumed To the peaceful bliss of sleep
Most kids my age Feel the same These words i recite on this stage Reflect our pain
A Word of wisdom? You are not alone. You are enough.
By: Stella Spergel , 11 years-old
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