Birds and the Bees ... is it that time already?
It's happened! The time has come … my daughter asked for the millionth time where babies come from!!! Having two daughters, I knew that when the time came, they would likely come to me --
She had asked a few times before, and I had no issue telling her how they came out … which might have turned her off from having children of her own for a little while. However, it was when she came home from school and she mentioned that kids in the playground were talking about S-E-X (yes she spelled it, as she thought it might be a bad word – which was lesson one – to let her know it is not a bad word). When I asked her what the other kids said, she laughed and told me "they think it is when a boy and girl get naked and kiss and that is how babies are made!"
She laughed because to her that seemed disgusting and outrageous … so I knew – she needed to understand the truth. I mean, it is better that I speak to her verses hearing different scenarios from others and not knowing what is accurate. My whole issue is that I want my kids to be able to talk to me, and to never be misinformed – especially when it comes to topics including your body and sex. Even from the beginning, we always taught our girls the proper name for body parts. I mean it isn't a bad word! You have an arm, a leg, and you may have a penis or vagina. There is nothing wrong with knowing your body parts using correct terminology.
I know when I was young, it was very different. The topic was often taboo - not discussed. It wasn't a subject where we encouraged conversations. However, we are living in different times, we have grown up if differently - we want be open and honest with our kids. We want to be better for our kids. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to talking about S-E-X!
Back to my story – so we are in the car, and I knew we had to have the talk as she wasn't going to let it go. I wasn't prepared and didn’t know where to start. So I told her to pick and animal (naturally that is my logical next step). She chose giraffe. So yes, ladies and gentlemen, I talked about giraffes mating. That is how I started …
I told her there is a male giraffe that has a penis, and a female giraffe that has a vagina. The female giraffe has eggs inside and the male giraffe has to fertilize them. So, I described in the simplest way possible how it worked. However, I think I might have confused her more …
Her question? Vaginas have a hole? So I knew I needed help. We came home, and I had some books handy for this very occasion. We started with American Girl's ® The Care and Keeping of You -- This book has everything you need to start the conversation – to have open dialogue about this important topic. It helps answer questions about your changing body, from hair care to healthy eating – from bras to periods to pimples, and everything in between. The content is simple and straightforward and allows for comfortable and open discussion. I found it allowed me to then have a better conversation about SEX and my daughter was able to articulate her questions better.
So as we go on this journey together, we may still have to refer to our giraffe friends as an example, but I know there is so much more to this discussion – like the importance of consent, sexual preference, gender, equality etc. However, since we have opened this door together, I am more comfortable about having an open and honest discussion about relationships, sex and everything else when the time comes.
I want my two girls to grow up with the confidence and knowledge that will empower them. Not to feel ashamed - but to love their bodies, to love and be accepting and so much more.
It's overwhelming when you think about all the things and wisdom you want to impart on them. You don't want them to be ill-informed, or make terrible mistakes ... there is worry and stress associated with it at times.
However, if you feel unsure when the timing is right to have the talk – you have to use your own judgement. Often times, you will know how much, and what your child can handle. The most important thing is building that trust. You want to be THE resource. You WANT them to come to you with their questions without judgement or discouragement.
And remember, there are a number of resources out there to help start the conversation before you get into the "birds and the bees" and everything in between.
Back to my story – so we are in the car, and I knew we had to have the talk as she wasn't going to let it go. I wasn't prepared and didn’t know where to start. So I told her to pick and animal (naturally that is my logical next step). She chose giraffe. So yes, ladies and gentlemen, I talked about giraffes mating. That is how I started …
I told her there is a male giraffe that has a penis, and a female giraffe that has a vagina. The female giraffe has eggs inside and the male giraffe has to fertilize them. So, I described in the simplest way possible how it worked. However, I think I might have confused her more …
Her question? Vaginas have a hole? So I knew I needed help. We came home, and I had some books handy for this very occasion. We started with American Girl's ® The Care and Keeping of You -- This book has everything you need to start the conversation – to have open dialogue about this important topic. It helps answer questions about your changing body, from hair care to healthy eating – from bras to periods to pimples, and everything in between. The content is simple and straightforward and allows for comfortable and open discussion. I found it allowed me to then have a better conversation about SEX and my daughter was able to articulate her questions better.
So as we go on this journey together, we may still have to refer to our giraffe friends as an example, but I know there is so much more to this discussion – like the importance of consent, sexual preference, gender, equality etc. However, since we have opened this door together, I am more comfortable about having an open and honest discussion about relationships, sex and everything else when the time comes.
I want my two girls to grow up with the confidence and knowledge that will empower them. Not to feel ashamed - but to love their bodies, to love and be accepting and so much more.
It's overwhelming when you think about all the things and wisdom you want to impart on them. You don't want them to be ill-informed, or make terrible mistakes ... there is worry and stress associated with it at times.
However, if you feel unsure when the timing is right to have the talk – you have to use your own judgement. Often times, you will know how much, and what your child can handle. The most important thing is building that trust. You want to be THE resource. You WANT them to come to you with their questions without judgement or discouragement.
And remember, there are a number of resources out there to help start the conversation before you get into the "birds and the bees" and everything in between.
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